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Save on ninja costumes for cheap.

My 4-year-old is a riot

Way too funny

5 Star Wars Status Updates on CollegeHumor

The sky flashed purple
at sunrise today
and I thought of her
for a moment

Souls reunite when they are meant to, for how long they are meant to, and for the purpose they are meant to, whether or not our individual humanity is conscious of this.

My son looked out the window this morning. It was cold and gray. He said, "It's a beautiful day... because I'm here." He couldn't have been more right.

My favorite month

Breathe

Can you shut it off when it gets overwhelming?
When it drains every ounce of you?
How do you feel when it does?
How do you feel when you do?
What happens if you don't?
Can you shut it off forever?
Would you if you could?
It has always been there --
And you have only just found the others
Do they need you?
Do you need them?
It's not going away is it?
You can try to ignore it
But you can't
Can you?
The problem is that it
is
There
Everywhere
With everyone
But only the guardians
Those who truly connect
Are left to manage the forces
For those who refuse to feel

Time

Rock On

Finally! Someone to jam with

Life

People in our society stress that we ought to be happy. If you're not happy something is wrong, we are led to believe. Yet, unhappiness is not a symptom of sickness, it is an expression of life, a natural reaction to situations we don't like. When **** happens, you don't have to like it.

"Still Be Around"

I don't see you through the windshield
I don't see you in faces looking back at me
Alcohol doesn't have much that matters to say
And imagine where you and time to kill will stay
When the bible is a bottle and the hardwood floor is home
When morning comes twice a day or not at all
If I break in two, will you put me back together
When this puzzle's figured out will you still
Be around
To say you've just been there
Walk in a line
upside down
Walk and breathe many a cancerous mile
When the bat of an eye is too slow to beat the coffin
They won't show it on the TV
They can't say it on the radio
But it's moving off the shelf and into our lives

Till you can't tell the truth when it's right in front of your eyes

-Uncle Tupelo

Genius

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Genius

Blue

Pain

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit
must break, that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain."
Kahlil Gibran

Many do not know that we are here in this world to live in harmony.

--Buddha

Neglected?

Hmmm...
I never go in that cupboard
But it seems like I close it at least 3 times a day

Heaven

My 4-year-old son woke up this morning at 4am and said,
"Daddy, my eyes are open. Let's go watch the sunrise over the lake."
It was the most beautiful moment I can remember in a long time.

The Number to Heaven

You are the center of your world
You know the crowd will always cheer when the "I love you" banner is unfurled
You got the planets spinning around your head
One day they'll knock you off your feet, then you'll be dead
You are the only reason you can't sleep at night
I know you'll never understand
That there will never be someone there to always hold your hand
Just make sure your clothes are always pressed
Then at least you'll always be the second best dressed
You are the only reason you can't sleep at night
You got a little something in between your teeth
I would have told you yesterday but it's been there for weeks
Could I slap you up and set you straight?
I've heard all I want to hear come oozing out of your face
You are the only reason you can't sleep at night
I hope you know you really suck
How you ever got this far... I guess we'll just call it luck
You've got your nose pressed way up high
But I'd really like to see your twisted face right before you die
You are the only reason you can't sleep at night

Watching the twilight
Fade to twilight
Like the telltale cinematography
Of a time-elapsed nature film
Swallowed up in the beams
Of magnetic media
Civilization is waiting for you
Come sign up
For a lifetime
Of fun, fast food, and consumerism
The man with the wig
And the bleached smile
Shouts
Above the reveling masses
As they point and click
Their way through
Their own separate realities

They are living symbols of God's justice and authority. They come the closest of all Angels to spiritual perfection and emanate the light of God with mirror-like goodness. They, despite their greatness, are intensely humble, an attribute that allows them to dispense justice with perfect objectivity and without fear of pride or ambition. Because they are living symbols of God's justice and authority, they are called Thrones and have as one of their symbols the throne.

Change

The me that you so desperately wanted me to become
Is a me that no longer needs the you that you are

Grey

Dripping out of the velvet sky
And into my head
I think I've seen you before
Or maybe just not yet
Can you illuminate
The darkness I have seen?
Or are you dragging me deeper
Down into my bad dream?
Black eyes and a white face
And a disappearing smile
"Why don't you take a walk with me?"
You said in a voice like a reptile's
And so we bedded down outside the dunes
And I made a little lean-to
We had a palm tree for a back porch
A mirage for a swimming pool
I had a couple of fish
You had a cat named after some dead rock-star
When you were younger you made a wish
In the backseat of your boyfriend's car
I wonder if you ever thought you would change
When your wish came true
Or if it would rearrange
Everything that defined you
But it's kind of cool because you go to bed
And it's like a brand new day
But you're only dreaming
And the sky is turning grey

Ten Rooms

There are ten doors in this wing
Behind each door a room
Each emanating excruciating agony
Fear
Confusion
Frenzy
Despair
Voices - mumbling, screaming, chanting,
Conversing, sobbing, babbling
Dozens of them
Reluctance and terror
Fill the poor souls
That happen to set foot
On the floor of this hall
Far from pleasant
Ambushed by pain
Mind, body, and spirit
Invading all space
Room after room
Colliding mid-corridor
Deafening, crushing
There is no safe step
until you are past these rooms
Breathless and half mad
Rattled like chains
Blood bursting temples
With each beat
These rooms are empty

Always There

Absorbing the pain
Physical and emotional
Acknowledgment is unnecessary
Every life is connected
Is that the will of the higher power?
To experience life through every living thing?
Nothing, therefore, happens without reason
Everything that happens
No matter how seemingly unimportant
Becomes a part of the universal experience
"You have saved my life more times than you know,"
She says to him
Yet she hardly knows him
And she is not the only one
Angels are not happy
They are tired
And only an angel understands an angel
Service is their choice
Method is not
And pain, like matter,
Is neither created nor destroyed
It must be taken away
Or given away
And the latter is the more difficult
Who, then, feels more pain?

Women in my Family: Part II

Oooo... I love this cabinet! It's always so exciting!
- My 64-year-old mother rummaging through the medicine cabinet

Ummmmm

And look who's winning

Arizona Sunshine
Sitting in the Arizona sunshine
Tripping with your voice inside my head
Digging deep beneath the burning sand
Is it too late to bury my dead?
I'm not any fun to play with
Anymore
Screaming blood and sitting in the darkness
I don't want to hear you anymore
But I always knew that you were heartless
I thought that's what killing you was for
I'm not any fun to play with
Anymore
I'll just lie here by myself
And I'll place you over there for now
Got a little feeling I've never felt
Kinda feels like I'm free...I'm free somehow
I'm not any fun to play with
Anymore

From Me

Great stuff from probably the most creative, ambitious, and funniest person I know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RhHlWoTRtc&feature=channel_page
More of his work can be seen if you click the musicalstyles link in my sidebar.

Claustrophobia

Sekula
Where do you put one billion people?
NOISE
How do you make yourself heard?
Do you know the dance?
BLOWHORN
Glowing red RELAX
One billion souls
Two billion gazes to meet
Nowhere else to look
Horn OK please
NOISE
Space squeezed into nothingness
By four wheels
Or three
Four feet
Or two
Or one
Or none
NOISE
Fast food frenzy fuel
NOISE
And one billion people in a space squeezed to nothingness
Relax and waggle heads in passive resistance
Unless you want to make yourself heard above all the
NOISE

Travel Well

Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any circumstances. To have such a clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that a path is only a path, and there is no affront to oneself or others in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do.
But your decision to keep on the path or leave it must be free from fear or ambition. Look at every path deliberately and closely. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. If it does have a heart, the path is good; if it doesn't, the path is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere, but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.
~Carlos Castenada

Signs

Perhaps my most favorite sign

Biological assassination
Microbial machines
We have discovered the dominant
The first will be last
The last shall be first
Bookends of life
Created by them
We host and feed
Aware and afraid
We immunize and disinfect
Strengthening
Spreading
The dominant first
Will be the triumphant last
The outcome of existence
Has already been written
New strains cultured
Destroy imposed order
And we are the fools
Who look at things larger
And smaller
Believing that we are
In the middle somewhere
Somewhere in outer space

Lessons Learned

It's amazing how many people don't read signs. I make it a habit to stop and read them whenever I can. It makes me feel like someone somewhere appreciates it. I once saw a sign that read, "Danger: the edges of this sign may be sharp! Do not touch the edges of this sign."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmcRanBtTyc&feature=channel_page

Compartmentalize

Compartmentalize yourselves
Without a cause
you are of no use
And where there is waste
there are crows
The barons of the heap
A murder gently rapping
on all four corners
of the orb
Compartmentalize yourselves
Without a purpose
you can accomplish nothing
Divide and multiply
or have you forgotten how?
The salmon defeats the current
breed and brood
and still unchanged
remains the current
The fight would be futile
The course has been set
Compartmentalize yourselves
with cause and purpose
different from the rest
Occupy yourselves with difference
divided
be conquered
Compartmentalize
Hurry up and wait
Wait for the final act

Connections

My 3-year-old accidentally let go of his balloon. He watched in amazement as it floated up and up and up until it was out of sight. That's when his amazement turned to terror as he realized it was gone for good. The tears started to flow and he began to cry, "My Balloon! My balloon!" I explained to him that that's what balloons do.
"Why?" he asked.
I explained how balloons float...like boats in the bath.
"But it's gone," he cried. "I want it back."
I told him that it would come down somewhere far away, and a little boy would find it and he would be so happy.
My son smiled from ear to ear, paused, and looked at me for a few moments before he replied.
"And then he'll bring it back to me right?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpc5vgi9zbM

For a split second I thought this video might calm him down..... nah

Connections

Hurt, fear, anger, resentment, shame, sorrow, sadness, despair, frustration, hate, loneliness -
These are yours, and yours alone. They matter to none other. They hold your heart hostage, in secret. They ask not for ransom. They are content to feed forever on your soul, They are happy to taste those you hold dear.
These are yours, and yours alone. Yours to own , or yours to cast away. They come between you and the spirit - destroying the connectedness between souls.
Set these free...connect. Others will need your strength. You are a doorway to peace and serenity for those who can not see their way through on their own.

Sleep

Today was rainy and dark. I slept. It's not as if i made a decision to sleep. My body chose to. I awoke this evening, refreshed, having missed nothing, and enjoyed the evening. Had I done differently I would not have bumped into two important friends I haven't seen in a long time. Nothing in this world happens by mistake.

Sleep

Then there are the times when I really can't sleep - the times when I need to sleep while the "sunshine workers" sleep. More often than not, it's when I have to do something I'd rather not the next morning. Thus, reluctantly I find myself in bed, mind racing, angry that I'm missing the joy of the night, and dreading every moment of the next day - knowing that I will need the sleep, but also that I won't be able to enjoy a bit of it because I'll be...well... sleeping.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=41033

Sleep

I've always been a night person. There's something about the quiet solitude when everyone else is at rest that brings a certain serenity to one's soul. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I have trouble sleeping (much), it's just that I'd rather be awake when everyone else isn't. Quiet walks in the dead of night are especially pleasant. The city never truly sleeps. There are always people about. Most of them however are just conducting their daily business at a different time than the "sunlight workers". But then there are the others... the ones like me... who, when I pass them on the street, will give a knowing nod as if to say, "Perfect, isn't it?"

Karma

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
~Wayne Dyer


My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
~Thich Nhat Hanh


Before you begin on the journey of revenge, dig two graves.
~Proverb

Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.
~Edwin Hubbel Chapin

My karma ran over your dogma.
~Author Unknown

Karma

Proof that it exists

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=41787

Karma

Technology has given us the ability to connect with those we want to far more easily than ever before. Unfortunately it has also afforded us the option to disconnect with others that were once necessary. Karma is generated in these connections...even in those that seem insignificant.

http://www.quiztron.com/tests/your_karma_level_quiz_17382.htm

Karma

Nothing happens in this world by mistake.

Women in my Family: Part 1

Until the day she died, Grandma Tiedge always had a drink in her hand. Her favorite was vodka and Fresca. She must have gone through a bottle of vodka a day. However, she always made sure everyone knew that the glass was mostly filled with ice.

Women in my Family: Part 1

"Ooooooooh! Johnny Mathis! I can handle anything when Johnny is singing."
- my 64-year-old mother after realizing her iron was broken

Women in my Family: Part 1

My grandmother used to eat a bowl of Grape-Nuts every day. She gave that up when her gallbladder began to hurt. The martinis on the other hand...

Women in my Family: Part 1

"That's how she gets so much done...... she's not checking her make-up all the time."
- my 64-year-old mother commenting on her childhood best friend